Last night I sat in the bath and cried for half an hour. Why so maudlin? Well, I’d just spoken to my doctor and felt utterly cut adrift again by the lack of clarity that he and I have on my stomach symptoms. All we know right now is that my gut function is seriously impaired, and that some of the symptoms contradict each other. Deciding how to proceed with treatment, when everything I have tried during the last 16 months has proved less than impacting, is daunting and confusing.
My default position is to keep on trying, staying with my current regime and just tweaking it here and there to see if one little thing will start to swing the balance for me. I rarely cave in completely and give up on it all – I have to remember that a few small, but very important, improvements have been made since I started the GAPs diet. I do admit though that I ate an inch of cheese and 3 beetroot crisps after the conversation ended – what a wild breakdown eh?!
Anyway, enough of the teeny-tiny-violin-sympathy-concerto. The point is that I was frustrated, broken down, and hopeless in those moments. I don’t have a definite diagnosis for the worst of my symptoms and therefore no clear path to follow to get over them. A cry is pretty necessary at times like that.
And then I felt a bit better. I sat down and wrote up a new diet regime. And this included TREATS. Yes, that’s how low I felt, I had to entice myself back to normality with treats. Why not? So here’s the plan, a prompt for all of us suffering setbacks on our path back to health:
Let it out. Cry, rage, throw things, moan, blubber, and scream. Letting the pain and anxiety and fear out can sometimes help it to fade a little.
Figure out what your next steps are going to be. This could be as short term as getting through the next hour, or a comprehensive plan for the following weeks. Nothing will change if you don’t know where you are going.
TREATS! A new plan might involve new diet and lifestyle choices. Dangle a carrot (for some, quite literally!) to help achieve the plan. Last night I ordered myself some expensive organic stevia liquid and coconut aminos so that I have some new cooking options on my diet adventures. Wild…! But it’s the little things, especially during long term illness. Anything to break the monotony of years of deprivation is very very welcome.
Sometimes you have to break down so you can get back up. And it’s the getting back up that makes us all the more likely to succeed. Oui?!
What do you do to motivate yourself on bad days? Feel free to share!